Unlove you
by Rosa Atrus
Summary: This is another Mac/Stell oneshot, of them getting together.


Stella Bonasera was a strong who prided herself on being able to do almost anything she set her mind to. Almost. She was slowly coming to realization that there was one thing she probably would never be able to do. Fall out of love with Mac Taylor. Fast on the heels of this was also the realization that she didn't want to. Fall out of live with him, that is.

Which was why, she was sitting in her office in the dark. She figured if she could avoid him, then she probably be able to keep her little secret to herself. She didn't have the luxury of running to her best friend with this one. Being in love with him and all.

She still remembered when she had come to the conclusion that she was in love with him. It had been six years after they had met. A year after Claire's life had been taken. Mac hadn't been the same after her death, she knew. Being the only one close to both of them, Stella had known how hard it was for Mac. Her death had ripped a hole in his heart, one that would take a while to heal. A long while. But being the good friend that she was, she stuck to him when everyone had been too scared to approach him. It had been a case that had affected them both on a personal level, Mac more so. The victim had been a woman who had widowed during the World Trade Center attacks. Her four year old daughter would be placed in foster care since she had no living relatives. She had been shot in the head. It hadn't helped that while trying to catch the perpetrator, Mac had ended in a shoot out that resulted in him getting grazed by a bullet. She vaguely recalled rushing to the hospital, praying the wound hadn't been too serious and then feeling relieved that he was going to be alright. But despite the fact that he had been hurting, he still had the presence of mind to ask her if she was ok. She remembered feeling like laughing out loud and crying at the same time. He was the one who had gotten shot, yet if he was asking she was ok. It was ironic really. But later, when she was soaking in her tub, she knew that she should have expected it of him. Because that was Mac Taylor, for you. He always put others before himself. The lives of his team were more important to him than his well being. He cared and this trait was one of the reasons she was in love with him. It had struck her then. Her feeling of friendship had evolved. The thought had made her panic. She knew he wasn't ready for a relationship. He still hadn't gotten over Claire's death. She didn't know if he ever would. She also knew that she could never risk their friendship that way. She needed it. He did too, especially now. So she had stuck a smile on her face a face and spend the next thing eight years trying to do the hardest thing she had ever done. Getting over Mac Taylor.

To say that she had failed would be an understatement. All she had managed to do was fall more in love with him, something that increased with each passing day. Frankie, Brandon and finally Adam. She still cringed at the thought of the last. That had been a serious error in judgment. The death of a friend, the fear of losing her own life and the life of the man she loved, the guilt of having survived unscathed when others hadn't, had made her vulnerable and Adam, with his infatuation for her, had been an easy target. She had been hoping for some kind of comfort that night and he had been there. Yet, despite the fact that she tried to move on, so to speak, she still found herself, being drawn closer to Mac. It was in the small things really. She couldn't help herself from getting up and trying to be at the office the same time he was, just so that they could ride up the elevator together. The smile on her face would stay bright for the day, when she would discover a cup of coffee on her desk after she'd come back from a crime scene. Only her self- restraint had kept her from accepting his offer of the spare bedroom at his apartment, when hers had been burnt down. While her mouth had been sprouting off some crap about snoring, she had been thinking her staying in the next room wouldn't have been a good idea. She couldn't have been held responsible for her actions. And it still wasn't the right time. Apart from that, Peyton had broken up with him not that long ago. She didn't think he was ready yet.

Peyton Driscoll. She wasn't sure how she felt about that relationship. Actually she did. As a friend, she had been happy that he was starting to take a chance on love again. As someone who was in love with him, she had been devastated, when Mac had told her that that the ME had asked him on a date. She had wanted to hate her, but found that she couldn't. It was hard not to like her. And she made Mac happy, which was what had mattered the most to Stella. So had decided to suck it up and pretended that all was ok. She was even chummy with Peyton! When Peyton had broken things off with Mac she had been elated at first, but seeing the hunch in his shoulders, the sad smile on his face, had made her want to yell at the woman who had caused her pain. Not because, she had broken off things with him, she had a feeling that even Mac have known that their relationship wouldn't have lasted. No, Stella had been mad at how Peyton had ended it, even though she understood the why the other woman had preferred not to see Mac again. But that of course was the difference between Stella and Peyton. Stella would never be able to leave Mac.

A knock at the door brought her out of her reverie. She turned around in her chair, only to find the subject of her affections leaning against her door.

" Hey, you ok? You looked like you were miles away." The concern in his eyes made knots in her stomach.

"Just thinking."

"Something worrying you?"

"No, just about life and love in general. Was there something you needed?"

"Not really. Just wondered if you would like to join me for dinner?"

"I'd like that." She noticed the smile on his face at her acceptance and was glad she hadn't eaten earlier.

An hour later they were seated in a small restaurant in Manhattan, enjoying their dinner. Mac noticed that Stella had been rather quiet and wondered what was on her mind. It wasn't often that she kept silent. She was normally very vibrant. Not that they always spent time only talking. He liked the fact that they were comfortable in the other's silence not to fill it with mindless chatter. But this silence was different. Stella kept a smile on her face, but her eyes told a different story. He could tell when something was bothering her, he had always been able to do so. Right now those expressive green orbs told him that she was upset and he was determined to find out why.

"Hey stel-"

"I can't unlove you Mac." She blurted out and then realizing what she had said, quickly grabbed her handbag and ran out of the restaurant leaving a very confused Mac in her wake. She was certain that she had ruined everything they had. She didn't get very far though, as a strong arm slipped around her waist and turned her around. She found herself staring into the eyes of Mac Taylor.

"I can't unlove you either Stella."

"You don't understand Mac. I'm in love with you. I think I'v been in love with you for the past fourteen years. I tried to fall out of love with you. But I failed miserably. All I've managed to do is only fall more in love with you. And I don't want to stop. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up. I can't even believe I'm telling you this. You probably don't even feel the same way. But I couldn't keep it in any longer. It was driving me mad. I'm sorry Mac. I'm so, so-" she felt her rant being cut off by the press of his lips against hers. It took her a couple of seconds to realize what was happening, before she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. They only pulled apart when air was becoming an issue.

Resting his head against hers, he took her face in his hand and he repeated his words from earlier, "I can't unlove you either Stella." The smile on her face showed her understanding, it was one that was mirrored on his face too, and the glow that had been missing in her eyes was back.

"I realized it when we were in Greece. I knew then that I couldn't run away from it any longer. And everything that has happened since then has made me realize that I probably shouldn't. I'm not very good at relationships Stella. But if you want it, my heart is yours."

"Yes I do Mac, I do. Just as mine is yours." she said, before leaning in to kiss him once more.

Neither of them noticed the rain that was pouring onto them.

* * *

_Wow, I can't believe I wrote all that! Hope you'll liked it._

_This was sort of inspired by the song 'Unlove you'_


End file.
